Devil's Backbone
by musicesti
Summary: He's fallen. Fast and hard. He just wanted him home.


A/N: I have no excuse. I just wanted to get this out of the way. It's the Gta!AU btw. The song to listen to is Devil's Backbone by The Civil Wars. It sets up the mood and enjoy.

Tears were already running down his face when he saw the doors close in front of him. He knew what was going to happen and there was no stopping him this time. He knew from the moment that the dreaded words of departure slipped away from his mouth. His vision clouded with salty waters as he slid down to his knees from shock. There was no way that he could ever see him again, not now, not ever and there was no doubt in his mind that he wouldn't be able to keep smiling without him.

He spent hours on the floor near the door in which the person he loved has disappeared forever, only sealing their fate even more. He wasn't one who depended on religion much, but he hoped that he could help him. The room was quickly fading from any light that had inhabited it and along with it went Bryce's hope. The room was a million times colder without the warm laughter coming from his partner's mouth. He began to sing, seeing that was all he could do with shallow breaths.

"Oh Lord, oh Lord, what have I done? I've fallen in love with a man on the run," his voice faltered as an image of a smirking Ryan popped into his head. He knew that Ryan was involved in a dangerous game, but that only made him love him more. "Oh Lord, oh Lord, I'm begging you please. Don't take that sinner from me. Oh, don't take that sinner from me.

"Oh Lord, oh Lord, what do I do? I've fallen for someone who's nothing like you," he remember the time that Ryan came by to visit him, his clothes covered in somebody else's blood. The smile on his face was one of joy as he had told him the job was a success. "He's raised on the edge of the Devil's backbone. Oh, I just wanna take him home. Oh, I just wanna take him home. Ooooooooooo…"

The tears just kept coming as memories of both of them together rushed forward in his mind. He remembered the first time they met at a coffee shop mix up and the day they shared their first kiss. The way Ryan's hands felt as he slowly teased him when they made love or when they cuddled lazily on the couch as a Christmas movies played in the background.

"Oh Lord, oh Lord, he's somewhere in between a hangman's knot, and three mouths to feed. There wasn't a wrong or right he could choose," Bryce felt a larger wave of sadness wash over him as he remembered the small boys that he would call their sons, Jonathan and Luke. He also remembered their faces as they laid in a casket with red roses and forget-me-nots. "He did what he had to do. Oh, he did what he had to do. Ooooooooooo…"

Anger washed away the sadness as he knew that this was also a part of fate's plan. To take away everything away was too much for him especially since it involved the people he loved so very dearly. "Give me the burden, give me the blame. I'll shoulder the load, and I'll shoulder the shame." He had told Ryan so many times how he didn't care if they blamed him as a reason for failure. He could take on the shame for both of them, but the other never listened and continued on his path.

"Give me the burden, give me the blame; how many, how many Hail Marys is it going to take?" He had tried praying, but gave up as the older left more frequently to deal with matters. He wondering if he had to do it more frequently in order to be heard. The question still burned on his mind as he watched him leave time and time again. The loneliness was overbearing as his mind and body screamed in pain. He didn't want to be left alone again.

Bryce had gone numb of emotion as he stood up after a while. He turned on the television and checked the news for any signs of the person he loved. The story of the night was a large bank robbery, the biggest in history, in fact. It was then that he saw his beloved, but not his real face. What he had seen was his name alongside a video feed of a masked man and how they laid on the floor, bleeding. The mask was pulled up to barely show his thin lips. The skin looked pale and blue as it froze over in the snow.

Empty tears made their way towards the floor and Bryce stood up from his spot. He walked into their shared room, straight towards the small bedside table they had. He opened the drawer and pulled out a loaded gun; Bryce had hidden it there one day when Ryan walked out for an assignment. He took the safety off and aimed to his head.

"Don't care if he's guilty, don't care if he not. He's good and he's bad and he's all that I've got. Oh Lord, oh Lord, I'm begging you please." The bang from the gun was loud as it spread throughout the empty apartment.

"Don't take that sinner from me. Oh, don't take that sinner from me…"


End file.
